Vanity Fair/ 60 Minutes Poll

Dear reader:

In September 2010, Vanity Fair and 60 Minutes conducted a poll (results) where they asked: Which one of the following do you think is the most likely to actually exist?  The respondent’s choices were: Ghosts, UFO’s, Vampires, Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and None of the Above.

The results of the poll were:

1.       37% Ghosts

2.       32% UFO’s

3.       25% None of the Above

4.         3% Bigfoot

5.         2% Loch Ness Monster

6.         1% Vampires

I am going to give you a moment to reflect on the results.  Let me know when you are done and we will proceed.  ………………..Good, it looks like we are all ready to continue.

The first result that jumps out at me is the 1% believing that vampires exist.  I am going to go out on a limb and say the actual result was 0% but a few of the male respondent’s were sucked dry by some ex-wife so they know a real life vampire.  Taking that into account, I already feel better about the results.

The second result that jumped off the web page for me was None of the Above was only 25%.  After pondering how None of the Above is not well over 50%, I concluded that I need to include the result from UFO’s (32%).  The reason I say that is because by its very definition, Unidentified Flying Objects exist (very Clinton of me to break down the word).  Many a nights I see flashing lights in the sky and I am unable to identify the object that is emitting the flashing light.  Do I believe they come from another planet?  NO I DO NOT.

I have now accounted for 58% (1+25+32) of the results as being reasonable for my way of thinking.  It is the other 42% that cause me heartburn.  Since I refuse to believe that 37% of the respondents believe that ghosts exist, I am going to explain it away thusly.

There are approximately 1,000 shows (give or take 800) on television about ghosts wherein they setup live cameras and film every room of a house, castle, or mental hospital.  The great part is, they come up with zilch, nada, nothing even when using the Super Duper FLIR 9000 ghost detection instrument and then turn it into a television show that millions watch.  The fact that millions of people are watching these programs, I believe, explains the 37% who believe in ghosts.  To most people, if it is on television, it must be true.  As you have probably been able to ascertain by now, I do not believe that ghosts exist. 

I am eager to see a ghost.  I have on occasion, when I deem the conditions appropriate, looked for them only to come up disappointed.  I am open-minded to the existence of ghosts but in my anal retentive world, I must see it to believe it, at least in regard to ghosts.

The next time you are at a party that has a 100 or more people in attendance, look around the room and see if you can spot the 42 people who believe in either ghost’s, Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness Monster.  If it is a NASCAR viewing party, the actual number of believers may be higher.

Sincerely,

Drivel