Saturday, February 4, 2012

Super Bowl Sunday


Dear Readers,

The annual championship game of the National Football League is being played this Sunday, February 5, 2012, in Indianapolis, Indiana.  It is also known as “Super Bowl Sunday”.  This year’s contest is between the New York Giants representing the National Football Conference and the New England Patriots representing the American Football Conference.  However, the game is much more than the N.F.L.’s championship game, it has turned into a de facto national holiday.  The Super Bowl is the most watched television program for the year in the United States.

A sporting event has turned into a national phenomenon?   Astounding!  Even women partake in “Super Bowl Sunday”.  Usually, when a man goes out with the guys to watch a game and gets home at 11:30 p.m. or later, a fight might ensue with the girlfriend or wife when he returns home but not on this Sunday.  It should be called “Free Pass Sunday”.  How has a sporting event gotten to this level of national prominence?

It all boils down to food.  “Super Bowl Sunday” is the second largest day of food consumption in the United States behind Thanksgiving.  People love an excuse to get together to eat and drink.  I am sure even cavemen (cavepeople for you politically correct a**holes) cave hopped after the cave around the corner scored the big kill.  The actual game is of interest only to the fans of the participating teams.  For the rest of the partygoers, the game is just background noise until the commercials air.

It is high time that our Washington D.C. representatives stop debating steroids in baseball, SOPA, raising the debt ceiling (that was a debacle anyway) and work on getting the Monday after the Super Bowl declared a national holiday- “Hangover Monday”.  That way, millions of hard working individuals like yourself, do not have to call in “sick” to work on that Monday.

Sincerely,

Drivel

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Vanity Fair/ 60 Minutes Poll


Dear reader:

In September 2010, Vanity Fair and 60 Minutes conducted a poll (results) where they asked: Which one of the following do you think is the most likely to actually exist?  The respondent’s choices were: Ghosts, UFO’s, Vampires, Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and None of the Above.

The results of the poll were:
1.       37% Ghosts
2.       32% UFO’s
3.       25% None of the Above
4.         3% Bigfoot
5.         2% Loch Ness Monster
6.         1% Vampires

I am going to give you a moment to reflect on the results.  Let me know when you are done and we will proceed.  ………………..Good, it looks like we are all ready to continue.

The first result that jumps out at me is the 1% believing that vampires exist.  I am going to go out on a limb and say the actual result was 0% but a few of the male respondent’s were sucked dry by some ex-wife so they know a real life vampire.  Taking that into account, I already feel better about the results.

The second result that jumped off the web page for me was None of the Above was only 25%.  After pondering how None of the Above is not well over 50%, I concluded that I need to include the result from UFO’s (32%).  The reason I say that is because by its very definition, Unidentified Flying Objects exist (very Clinton of me to break down the word).  Many a nights I see flashing lights in the sky and I am unable to identify the object that is emitting the flashing light.  Do I believe they come from another planet?  NO I DO NOT.

I have now accounted for 58% (1+25+32) of the results as being reasonable for my way of thinking.  It is the other 42% that cause me heartburn.  Since I refuse to believe that 37% of the respondents believe that ghosts exist, I am going to explain it away thusly.

There are approximately 1,000 shows (give or take 800) on television about ghosts wherein they setup live cameras and film every room of a house, castle, or mental hospital.  The great part is, they come up with zilch, nada, nothing even when using the Super Duper FLIR 9000 ghost detection instrument and then turn it into a television show that millions watch.  The fact that millions of people are watching these programs, I believe, explains the 37% who believe in ghosts.  To most people, if it is on television, it must be true.  As you have probably been able to ascertain by now, I do not believe that ghosts exist. 

I am eager to see a ghost.  I have on occasion, when I deem the conditions appropriate, looked for them only to come up disappointed.  I am open-minded to the existence of ghosts but in my anal retentive world, I must see it to believe it, at least in regard to ghosts.
The next time you are at a party that has a 100 or more people in attendance, look around the room and see if you can spot the 42 people who believe in either ghost’s, Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness Monster.  If it is a NASCAR viewing party, the actual number of believers may be higher.

Sincerely,

Drivel

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Knuckle draggers


Dear readers:

I cannot believe it, I have become one of “them”. 

Who are “them” you may be wondering.  I am referring to people who write blogs.  I had made a deal with myself to never become a blogger.  Well, I have lied to myself once again, much like not fulfilling whatever promise you made to God to get yourself out of whatever predicament you wanted His intervention for.  So why would I become one of “them”?

Blogging is cathartic much like a middle school girl writing in her journal of the day’s events but on a much larger, public stage.  It is the way one voice can vent and reflect on life without shelling out $150 per hour and continually answering the question “And how does that make you feel?”.

I envision covering a wide range of topics from alpha to omega.  The subject matter will consist of whatever I deem an injustice, funny, uplifting, or pathetic.  Check back here periodically to see what my latest rambling’s consist of.  I do not mind feedback and thoughtful discussion.  In fact I encourage it.  The keyword being thoughtful.

The age in which we live, thoughtful discussion on any subject should be much easier to have than any time in history but it is in fact very hard to find.  How many of us have truly enjoyed reading FukU45 comments of “u r stuped an no nuthing” in response to some article?  At the rate we are devolving, the movie “Idiocracy” may be reclassified from a comedy to a documentary on Netflix.


Take care dear readers and do not be too shocked when your knuckles start to drag on the ground.

Sincerely,

Drivel